Eight months later I realise how terrible I am at keeping up with recording my thoughts, feelings and other school/career related things. This doesn’t just stop at blogging; I found my A4 planner in my box of ‘stuff to be filed’ at school yesterday. I’d not planned or diarised anything in there since the 31st October. This also sounds how my QTS files look. Pretty empty!
As a trainee teacher, I would’ve thought that I would have learnt how to be organised. I thought wrong. Since the business of Summer Institute I have barely had time to think (or should that be ‘reflect’ TF buzz word!). I last blogged in August. It is now April. April. Where has the time gone?! In fact, I know where the time has gone.
My last 8 months have been spent: planning, driving (it’s a long way to school!), sleeping (or at least trying to sleep), planning (again), crying (almost a bi-weekly occurrence!), shouting, some screaming, attempting to manage behaviour, marking, desperately re-considering my career choice, planning, marking, meetings, training, and maybe just a bit more planning and marking thrown in for good measure!
Thinking about the Teach First assessment centre seems like an absolute life time ago. But considering my progression between then and now (after 7 months in the classroom) I’m not quite so sure where I stand on many issues. Have I become an almost ‘teacher’? Am I good at my job? Will my year 10s ever listen to me? When will I develop that thick skin to deflect student insults? Confidence is clearly a key area in which I struggle. No matter how many times colleagues and mentors/tutors tell me I’m doing great- I still try and push aside their encouraging statements. I’m still aiming for ‘outstanding’ and killing myself in the process. It is quite clearly not possible, at least for the moment.
Thinking about the Teach First assessment centre seems like an absolute life time ago. But considering my progression between then and now (after 7 months in the classroom) I’m not quite so sure where I stand on many issues. Have I become an almost ‘teacher’? Am I good at my job? Will my year 10s ever listen to me? When will I develop that thick skin to deflect student insults? Confidence is clearly a key area in which I struggle. No matter how many times colleagues and mentors/tutors tell me I’m doing great- I still try and push aside their encouraging statements. I’m still aiming for ‘outstanding’ and killing myself in the process. It is quite clearly not possible, at least for the moment.
Despite the constant struggles of the last 8 months (the sleepless nights, being knocked over by students, being sworn at in languages I don’t understand...) I wouldn’t change it for the world. There has most definitely been highs and lows but I don’t regret a single minute!
What else have I failed to blog about? OFSTED. Oh yes. After a mere 5 weeks in the classroom, the suited man with his clip board strolled on in! Man: ‘Do you have QTS?’ Me: ‘No.’ Man: ‘So you’re not qualified?’ Me: ‘No’. Man: ‘Oh! I had no idea!’
However, if that situation was to re-emerge now, I don’t think I’d do so well. Is it possible to go backwards? I feel like September can’t come quick enough in some respects, just so I can start over. Maybe the Summer term would be a good place to start.
However, if that situation was to re-emerge now, I don’t think I’d do so well. Is it possible to go backwards? I feel like September can’t come quick enough in some respects, just so I can start over. Maybe the Summer term would be a good place to start.
So here is my ‘to do’ list for the remaining term of Teach First year 1:
Do my skills tests!
Do remaining written assignments.
Reign in the problem classes.
Cry no more!
Actually become a teacher.
Sort out the ks3 schemes of work. The existing SoW are horrific and I’m going to make it my goal to do something about that before September.
Make sure that school gets some kind of classroom management spying software stuff (how technical am I?). I can’t bare another lesson where children are sneakily tweeting across the room!
Plan the SoW for my A/s Law class I will (hopefully) have in September.
Try and develop some confidence and a thicker skin! Try.
And... blog.
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